tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278805446419475912.post1035933456970284171..comments2024-01-25T13:50:36.131-08:00Comments on Excavator: Keeping up appearancesexcavatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977971829976807873noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278805446419475912.post-34768472518055947672012-05-19T09:52:08.071-07:002012-05-19T09:52:08.071-07:00Thanks, Pale, and Luz, for stopping by.
Luz, in...Thanks, Pale, and Luz, for stopping by. <br /><br />Luz, in regards to disconnecting from the 'outsourcing agreement', I suppose it's not an accident that I live at a distance from my family-of-origin members.<br /><br />Thanks for the links, Pale. I went over and read them. I'd forgotten about the concept of Codependency--funny considering once that word was everywhere. But, it seems apt. Who knows, maybe the pattern originated with a great-grand parent's alcoholism and the adaptation behaviors were what was passed down. If codependency is what results from the need to adapt to someone's intractability, then I guess I fit that shoe.<br /><br />I think the part that I'm absorbing, slowly, is the fact that people important to me loved their internal equilibrium, however illusory or even delusional, more than they loved me. And so they made me a servant of their ego's stability. They didn't mean to, it was done to them, they would have no idea of what I'm speaking.excavatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12977971829976807873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278805446419475912.post-42343759335917639382012-05-15T15:58:16.807-07:002012-05-15T15:58:16.807-07:00No, it isn't just you. It's anyone born i...No, it isn't just you. It's anyone born into a family with personality disordered members. I read a bit recently about codependency in families and the descriptions that I read of the dynamics were really validating. If you haven't explored that topic ... or haven't looked into it out recently, check it out:<br /><br />http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Codependent-Family-Member<br /><br />http://drirene.com/cofam.htm<br /><br />Sometimes codependency involves addiction in one or more family members, but sometimes it just a "maladaptive" way of relating to others. I'm no expert, but as I say, it was validating to read about it. I had a bff that came from an alcoholic family that first mentioned it to me years ago (I suspect she recognized the patterns in my family as well). I appreciated it then, but now well into adulthood, I see it much, much more clearly.<br /><br />People of the lie, eh? That's a heavy one. I've dipped into the first couple of pages, but am sort of daunted by the topic ... for various reasons.<br /><br />So glad to see you here!! (more! more!)Palehttp://www.werdproblems.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278805446419475912.post-77690699114701382102012-05-14T13:36:51.421-07:002012-05-14T13:36:51.421-07:00Outsourcing -- what an apt way to put it. And a ch...Outsourcing -- what an apt way to put it. And a child shouldn't have such outsourcing thrust on her.<br /><br />I can't begin to figure out how to extract from such a dynamic. Don't you just want to yell, "THAT'S NOT PUDDING!"<br /><br />I don't know how to disconnect from the stale old outsourcing agreement without disconnecting from the person who conscripted one into it.<br /><br />Nice new look.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.com