I was appreciating the comments in response in my post below, and I had a bit more clarity about the dilemma I faced then.
At 12 weeks my baby was showing incredible heart. He was clinging by his little fingernails--barely holding on going 9 hour stretches without nursing, to be relieved when I came to pick him up. Then he'd nurse through the night. This was his solution, and it must have cost him in plenty of discomfort, yet he did not give in and take the bottle.
Those who said I should withhold nursing and present only a bottle seemed oblivious to his courage. He must have already been at the brink; anyone who would expect his mother to be the one to shred his last bit of resistance and sweep him over the edge had no idea what a betrayal this would be.
I think there are many unseen moments of courage around us each day--people who are expected to do the impossible and are casually despised when they cannot. I think about the courage it takes for people who work three jobs and find themselves dismissed as 'lazy' when they use food stamps in a check-out. It's so easy to gloss over what it takes for someone to do as they do. Sometimes it's all too easy to be heartless and to not even realize it.
2 comments:
It's all too easy to ignore, ridicule, marginalize and not walk that proverbial mile. It's easy to mouth the word lazy instead of rolling up your sleeves to help.
I will never understand how anyone who supports so-called family values can't insist on a 1 year maternity leave like the rest of the world.
I love your addendum, as I loved the original post. So much courage that is taken for granted as no big deal as folks struggle to hang in. The quiet kind of courage that isn't even noted or recognized as courage...I guess because there isn't often the big dramatic triumph over the obstacles, just quiet, determined perserverance year in and year out. Thanks for reminding us. I wish many more people could read your post and especially your addendum and be reminded as well. You say it true and eloquently.
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