Wednesday, April 28, 2010


We've come out.  Sunday we told the boys that we, the parents are going to separate and most likely divorce.  We told them they will stay in the house, while Gary and I do rotations of living with them, probably on a week by week basis.  (We may start out with shorter rotations because a week may be too long for Scott.  He's never been separate from me for more than 2 nights)

A useful opportunity is coming up.  Gary is going to Asia and will be gone about 10 days.  The boys have experienced this many times before.  When he returns I'm going to stay at a friend's house for a few days.  Thus we'll have a real-time dry run which will demonstrate to the boys what their lives will look and feel like.  The goal is that life not feel much different than it does right now.  (That's the least I'm hoping for.  My cherished hope is that absent the poison atmosphere the combination of Gary and I give off, life will feel lighter, better to them, and to me too.)

We've informed our wider families, our own parents and siblings.

We'll need another place for the times we're not at home with the boys.  I don't know yet if we'll share one or each get one.  I need a job and I have an interview on Friday.

That's all for now.  It's a very committing move we've made and we need to follow through with the next one as soon as possible.  I'm glad to have it in the open, finally--to at last be taking meaningful steps.


Lavender Luz said...

I imagine doing so feels both weighty and lighter. I hope things went well with the tellings.

Good luck with the interview. May you find the right job soon.


Wordgirl said...

Oh Ex,

Welcome back -- I've missed you. I second Lori -- there must be so many feelings rushing around right now -- but I know this has been in process for some time.

Just know I'm out here supporting you!

PaleMother said...

Ex, it's so good to see you! Always look forward to you in my reader. I've been thinking of you -- in the last few days in particular I've been wanting to leave a comment or an email to send you some PT.

It must be a relief to have the telling over (!!) and to be moving forward. Hope you all have good support on the ground as you work out your new order.

Hope the job hunt goes well and that you get to have lots of excitement about the new life you will be able create now, in spite of the inevitable stresses. We are here for you when you need support or an ear.

All the best.

Quiet Dreams said...

What an enormous time for you. Like Lori said, both weighty and lighter. I hope that everything goes as smoothly as possible for you.

Best of luck with your interview and job search.